Empty Headed

I decided to call my mom. I thought maybe she’d like to stay on the phone with me while I took my first ever exercise walk. I decided to take a long walk instead of going to the gym tonight. I guess so I can be alone with my thoughts. Well, the phone call didn’t last too long. I knew it was time to hang up when there was that awkward pause before I heard the bubble sound from when she clicks something on her tablet. It’s okay, maybe it was better off this way. It was a sign for me to enjoy the time I had alone. Now I was REALLY alone. Not that I don’t like that, it’s just been a while.

I walked for a long time, I know this cause I reached the mall. That’s a long walk so I decided it was time to turn back. And that’s when it hit me (so cliche).

WTF was going through my mind the entire way there?

Well…if you must ask; I don’t have an answer for you. The entire way there, I realized nothing had gone through my mind. Nothing except for maybe “OMG that house is so nice!” or “Omg THAT house is even nicer!” I was walking through TMR (Town of Mount Royal), and it’s literally THE nicest area you’ll ever lay your pupils on. So, yeah. Nothing.

As I made the decision to start walking back, only then did I really start thinking. The messed up part about this is that I was telling myself to start thinking about something because I was alarmed that I had just walked 25 minutes and nothing important went through my mind. “Alright, just think. Worry more. Go back to being mad at the thing you were last mad at–think SOMETHING”  Annnnnnd nothing. I couldn’t believe that I was trying to focus on thinking so hard so I just let out this stupid embarassed-at-myself laugh. I looked around and realized there was no one on the streets. In fact, the entire walk so far, I hadn’t seen anyone except for 1 old couple holding hands (aw). Then I thought to myself; “this is the part in the movie where the zombie apocalypse begins or when the girl disappears.” FINALLY I thought something! Yeah, for like….2 seconds because before I knew it I was back to square one. The only thing I was thinking about was the fact that I wasn’t thinking about anything in particular.

At this point, I was about half way back. I had 20 more minutes of great thinking skills to use. Fortunately, those last 20 minutes helped bring me to this moment. “This would be interesting to write about on my new blog. I could call it ‘The girl who thought nothing’ or ‘Walking home and not thinking about anything because apparently my brain enjoys taking long breaks without letting me know’ no…that’s too long.” I spent the rest of my time thinking about what I would write. What sounds “unique” so that I can become this famous blogger/writer from just one piece which will probably be seen by no one.

OH by the way, I don’t live in this beautiful area with nice houses, I live on the other side which is separated by this 2 foot tall fence with a sign saying something like “we lock this fence so the children remain safe.” BULLSHIT, they lock the 2 foot fence because they’re afraid of my side of town because we’re ghetto or something.

Fyi TMR, a 2 foot fence won’t save the children! Idiots.

So here I am, writing for the first time and not remembering ANYTHING I told myself not to forget. Greeeaaaaaaaaat.

Ultimately, my entire exercise walk consisted of me worrying about not thinking about anything. Which is why I felt empty headed, hence the title of this post. I guess it didn’t help that I had my earphones in without any music playing the entire time as well. I like to pretend I have music on my phone when I actually don’t. It added to my “I’m cool cause I exercise/walk with music” rebel look.